They say comparison is the thief of joy and I couldn't agree more. It's likely at some point you have known someone who has sought help for something going on in their life. Maybe it was because they had gone through a breakup, lost a loved one, felt depressed, or were struggling with anxiety or some other experience in their life. If you'd compared yourself to this person and their "mental health", you might naturally have drawn some conclusions about your own life as a result. Maybe you had never felt or experienced what they described, and as a result, concluded that all was well in your world.
The thing is that when you compare like this, you don’t always get the whole picture. You don't get your OWN picture. When you're focused on others, you're not bringing awareness to what is truly going on inside yourself. You don't often notice the things that are unique to YOU, or the things that may be getting in the way of your thriving. Most importantly, you may be missing all the opportunities to grow, change and upgrade yourself. If you often feel "fine" all the time, is that really a good thing? Chances are, you might not be looking deep enough at yourself.
When you choose to focus on yourself, you begin to realise that there is no such thing as good or bad. You begin to realise that your mental health DOES need attention, regardless of who you are and how you feel. Your mental health is a journey that is forever unfolding with yourself. You begin to realise that there is no victory or fulfillment in being "fine", "good" or "okay", because all that does is help you stay exactly where you are... and that can feel stagnating.
For many people, they've spent a lifetime neglecting their mental health because they've been educated to think that mental health is about doing “good” or "bad". They've been encouraged to compare themselves to other people instead of being taught how to listen, reflect and understand themselves, their mind, body AND emotions, and how that is impacting their reality.
When you choose to explore yourself, you are choosing to upgrade who you are in whatever capacity that may be for YOU. When you address your own mental health, you are also choosing to connect with who you are at the deepest level. In doing so, you become your own greatest teacher and often realise you have had the answers all along. You begin to realise that actively working on yourself and getting help along the way is nothing to be ashamed of at all, but simply, is a way to live your best life and achieve your greatest potential. This is where we feel most fulfilled.
So without further ado, here are some of the amazing (and sometimes unexpected) reasons to work on yourself:
1. Your confidence grows exponentially
When you choose to work on yourself, you begin to get really comfortable with what you think and feel and as a result, your confidence and self-worth skyrockets. Having an understanding of yourself on a deeper level makes you realise that what you feel is OKAY. You stop judging yourself so harshly and begin to appreciate yourself for the amazing human being that you are. You begin to feel secure in your truth and this alleviates your worries about what other people think of you and your choices, which makes you feel so much more comfortable in your own skin.
2. You experience greater depths of freedom and peace
When you work on yourself, your awareness naturally expands which allows you to see things you never saw before. When this happens you develop more choice over every single moment and with that, there is a huge sense of calm and freedom that goes with it. You no longer feel constricted to past patterns or old roles that you used to play and expectations from the world around you simply dissolve. As your perceptions change, so do the things that matter to you which often leaves you feeling more at ease to live life on your own terms.
3. You Get Stronger
Because working on ourselves has always been seen as negative or a weakness, when you do work on yourself you actually discover how many muscles you strengthen in the process. You naturally get stronger and better at being honest, open and more vulnerable which allows you to build trust in yourself. When you learn how to hold space for your own feelings and emotions you realise that these are actually qualities that take a lot of guts and you begin to see why so few people do it. In contrary, it is the complete opposite of being weak. Continuing to be courageous and face what’s hard in your life allows you to develop a strong sense of self and there is nothing more empowering…or attractive!
4. You shift lifelong patterns that have kept you stuck
There is nothing worse than feeling stuck and like the same old things keep happening again and again. Maybe you have noticed that you keep dating the same people who seem to rely on you or always need your help. Or perhaps you always date narcissistic people who only care about themselves. Whatever the pattern, when you begin to work on yourself, you are able to discover what has caused these patterns to repeat within you and this allows you to finally break free from them. Nothing feels more liberating than seeing how YOU have been attracting the same old pattern and realising that you are the one who can change it.
5. You experience deeper and more fulfilling relationships
One of the biggest things you realise when working on yourself is that you can only connect with people to the depth that they have connected with themselves. As a result of this, when you do the work, your relationships naturally begin to change…for the better. When you know how to put your wellbeing first, it no longer feels acceptable to pretend, wear masks or put up with things that cause you to suffer. As a result, you are less likely to hold onto relationships that have been toxic, draining or unsupportive to your dreams, goals and desires. Instead, you naturally attract and gravitate toward more conscious and like-minded people. As you begin to feel more comfortable within yourself, it becomes easier to be more open and vulnerable with others which allows you to bond more deeply and develop greater levels of trust and intimacy.
6. You naturally help those around you
Western society has functioned for a long time on the idea that in order to help people we have to DO things for them. However, one of the biggest (and often most surprising) benefits of working on yourself is how much you naturally help those around you by simply BEING yourself and spreading your energy. If you can bring to mind the times in your life where someone has helped you, it’s often the person who seemingly did nothing at all. Perhaps they just listened without judgment or encouraged you when others doubted you. Maybe after they left your company, you always felt good but you couldn’t work out why. The chances are that this person left you feeling so good and helped you because they had done work on themselves and had a good energy. When we work on and heal ourselves, we naturally begin to let go of low vibrational energy, leaving us with a more stable and consistent baseline energy that others feel when they come into contact with us. Working on yourself is one of the greatest gifts you can give to those around you, including your own family and children. Helping happens by simply being you, and your energy is contagious.
7. You get out of your comfort zone in the safest way possible
Getting out of your comfort zone is often one of the hardest things to do because it induces so much fear. We can easily get caught in the minds trap of rationalising and reasoning our way out of doing things because we are afraid of the unknown. Working on ourselves (especially with the support and guidance of another) can be one of the safest experiences of heading into the unknown. Of all the times to get out of the comfort zone, working on yourself is an easier choice because there is the ability to have someone by your side the whole time to help you when you might feel alone, worried or unsure. It’s nurturing in all the best ways and provides a sense of comfort when you're doing something a bit uncomfortable.
8. You stop feeling so alone
One of the biggest benefits of working on yourself is that you stop feeling so alone within your existence. This ties in with feeling more freedom because the more you work on yourself, the more you understand that what you feel is natural and normal. We might all go through different experiences in life, but our feelings and emotions are all inherently the same. We begin to see that the “dirty secrets” or thoughts we’ve had are actually not that weird or embarrassing, but rather, extremely natural. When you share them, the power these stories had over you simply dissolve and you become so much more comfortable with your humanness.
9. Your overall health improves
We can’t work on our wellbeing bubble without healing all parts of it because it is all interconnected. One of the most surprising benefits of working on yourself is often how illnesses or chronic conditions that you may have had for years or a lifetime, simply up and vanish. It is not uncommon to notice skin conditions, gut issues, addictions, chronic fatigue, aches, pains or autoimmune diseases shifting and responding in response to self-healing. Stress is generally the building block to most illness and disease and one of the most unrecognised forms of stress is emotional. So when you start working on yourself and your emotional health, it makes complete sense why your overall health improves.
What’s the takeaway?
It is clear that one of the biggest problems we face is getting caught up in the story of Mental Health. We all have a mental healthy journey and no one’s else's is relevant to your own. If you wish to live your life to the fullest, it’s simply a matter of listening to yourself and paying attention to your OWN experience.
If you feel drawn to explore more of who you are, but feel resistance, know that this is completely natural. One of the best ways to move out of resistance is to focus on all of the amazing things that you stand to GAIN and what is possible for YOU and your life.
When starting self exploration, self healing or personal development, it can be incredibly advantageous to work with an objective or impartial third party like a counsellor or therapist. In doing so, you can alleviate any extra stress or guilt that you may experience when chatting to people you know or that are close to you. It’s not uncommon for people to feel like they are being a burden to those around them, or notice others getting personally triggered when they share, making it increasingly difficult to focus on themselves.
HOWEVER, when working with a counsellor or therapist you should feel safe and CONNECTED but this isn't always the case. So if you don't, that's okay. Trust that feeling but don't give up in finding a therapist who you feel you have a connection with. Having solid and secure connections is something we all need to grow in life. They can provide us with the space to see ourselves in a whole new light, impacting our life for the better.
Finally, it is imperative that we let go of comparing to anyone else and simply ask ourselves what we want for our OWN life. Do I want to live a deep, fulfilling and enriching life? Do I want to live a more peaceful existence? Do I want things to change in the world? If so, doing some self exploration is a great place to start.
If you liked this article, you might also enjoy:
Why Healing Your Anxiety is the Key to Overcoming Anxiety
10 Things I Learned While Healing Debilitating Anxiety Without Medication
8 Tell-Tale Signs You Are Experiencing Chronic Anxiety…But Might Not Know It
7 Tips To Reduce Overthinking So You Can Release More Energy & Upgrade Your Life
Are you looking for a space to talk?
If you are looking for a safe place to reflect or have a desire for self-development, Holistic Counselling could be just the thing for you. You can read more about it below.
Molly is a Holistic Counsellor with qualifications in Holistic Counselling, Coaching & Meditation Therapy. However, most of what she brings to the table is her personal human experience and dedication to self healing and growth. She is the founder of Mind Habitat which offers Holistic Counselling to individuals who want to heal naturally and develop personal power in their life. You can book a session with Molly here or visit the Mind Habitat homepage here.