8 Tell-Tale Signs You Are Experiencing Chronic Anxiety…But Might Not Know It

Feeling anxious is a human experience. We ALL experience it from time to time and often it can be an extremely supportive signal to let us know what’s going on. It alerts us when something doesn't feel right or lets us know when we feel nervous or excited about what's in front of us. Most often, it is simply showing up because we have emotions present in our body such as fear, anger, sadness and joy that we are not aware of and have not processed.

These days, so many people are in a constant state of chronic stress and feeling anxious has become part of their way of life. For a lot of us, stressful early childhood experiences or general lack of emotional awareness and ability to emotionally regulate has meant that BEING anxious has simply become part of who we are. When this is the case, we’re so accustomed to feeling what we feel that we don’t realise it’s something that we can actually shift. Anxiety isn’t something we have, it’s something we FEEL. Most of us have just normalised this feeling because it’s there ALL the time… and that’s the problem.

When people have a panic attack it is really obvious that they are experiencing anxiety because it’s not as commonplace, but for the most part, anxiety goes undetected because we live in an anxious fuelled society. So many of us experience the effects of anxiety every single day but we often don’t recognise that what we feel may not actually be how we are supposed to feel. When this is the case, we don’t realise that we have the power to change it and what is possible when we do.

So, here are 8 tell-tale signs that you may be experiencing anxiety in your life:

1. You’re constantly thinking about the future

People who experience chronic anxiety find themselves thinking about the future most of the time and about what’s coming next. If this sounds familiar then you probably do this so often that you notice it’s quite difficult to ever truly feel at peace or enjoy the present moment. There have probably been times where this has gotten in the way of connecting with others and its possible people have made you aware of it along the way which can be as hurtful as it is frustrating.

2. You need to have a plan to feel at ease

From the outside, people who experience anxiety are often seen as organised and proactive by others as they always have everything booked and planned. If this rings true, people have probably praised you at one time or another for being highly reliable and dependable but they don’t see what you feel on the inside. The need to have a plan is often driven by the anxiety you experience if you don’t have one in place. It’s more than likely you have struggled when someone has tried to change the plan on you, causing you to go into a tail spin. This is intrinsically tied to always thinking about the future because when we are always planning ahead there is a belief that having certainty will make us feel calmer. This can be in the form of a routine, a holiday or simply making plans for what will happen tomorrow.

3. You are fixated on goals and outcomes

This one is similar to the two before it because when we are experiencing anxiety, we are always future focused. People who are anxious are often fixated on plans, goals and outcomes. They tend to feel better knowing they have a goal or an outcome that needs to be achieved and get a sense of peace from ticking things off. They find it difficult to go with the flow because they struggle to find peace among the unknown so goals act as a form of certainty. If this rings true, you might notice that you constantly think about the next task that needs to be done during the one you are already focused on. It’s likely you multitask regularly or start many things at one time, causing you to feel like your mind is in a million places at once. This isn't to say that having goals is a bad thing, but rather becoming aware of when attachment to the goal or outcome causes distress or internal suffering.

4. You always feel like something needs to be done

Stopping or finding true stillness feels incredibly difficult for people when experiencing anxiety. Many find themselves always having to be doing something no matter what and usually their schedules are always busy. Stopping can literally have the very real feeling that everything is going to fall apart which is why when we have chronic anxiety, continuing to move is how we prevent ourselves from dealing with it. When we’re always needing to be doing something it’s often because we’re afraid of having to feel the discomfort that would be there if we stopped or relaxed. If you struggle to stop, that’s a sure fire sign that you’re feeling anxious underneath.

5. You don’t sleep well

People who experience anxiety on a regular basis don’t sleep well and many consider themselves light sleepers. When we find ourselves in chronic survival patterns, part of our brain doesn’t feel safe to truly switch off and let us sleep, often leaving the feeling like we haven’t slept deeply or that we were thinking or solving problems all night long. Many find themselves feeling exhausted by the end of the day but when they get into bed, their mind feels alert and won’t switch off. This is often because it is the one time in the day they have truly stopped (without distraction) and are able to see what they were feeling underneath all of the “doing” that occurred during the day.

6. You feel drained

Often from the outside people who experience anxiety appear outwardly calm and put together, but in reality, they feel completely drained. Being in a constant state of hyper vigilance, looking to the future to predict chaos and catastrophe, feeling unable to relax or stop and not sleeping properly is exhausting!

7. You are always worrying about what other people are thinking

This is quite an obvious sign but people who feel anxious are often very worried about what other people are thinking about them or how they are being seen by others. It is not uncommon to feel anxious when speaking in front of other people or perhaps finding it hard to be centre of attention. People who struggle with chronic anxiety can also find themselves struggling with people pleasing because they are constantly more focused on how other people may think and feel than themselves. This leads to doing things that they don’t really want to do or saying yes when they want to say no because it feels like the path of least resistance.

8. You use substances to cope

When people feel anxious it is not uncommon that they find themselves relying on substances in a habitual manner. This may include having a drink or two at the end of each day as a way to relax or drinking heavily at the weekends. Often they might not even know why they go toward those substances but usually it is a way to simply feel better from the anxiety that is bubbling beneath the surface. This may apply to any substance that they find themselves using (eg. smoking, taking drugs or eating) and is often just an unconscious action to change the way they feel.

What’s the takeaway?

It can be a really good exercise to reflect on the experiences that occur in our life and whether that is what we truly want. When we’re constantly focusing on the future, it is impossible to be present or spontaneous and that means we can’t truly enjoy what is right in front of us. When feeling agitated and distracted is our normal, this can have a negative impact on our relationships because it prevents us from being truly available to connect with others. Most often this can lead to a deep sense of loneliness.

When we’re always needing a plan or certainty to feel content, it changes how we engage with the world around us. It prevents us from seeing what opportunities are right in front of us or all of the amazing things that are happening right before our eyes. The experience we have in life becomes one of staying safe and comfortable instead of being spontaneous, basking in joy and embracing the unknown of right now.

When we are always wondering what can go wrong, we struggle to take steps toward what we want, often leaving us feeling stuck or that our potential is going to waste. Most importantly, when we experience chronic anxiety, it completely drains our energy. This is because all the energy we have is placed into protecting ourselves and that means we have nothing else for what we truly want. We tend to feel like we are not living the life we truly desire and that’s because we don’t have the energy or enthusiasm to go after it.

Dissolving our chronic anxiety involves learning how to tune into our mind, body and emotions; something many of us did not learn in adolescence. Due to this fact, most of us actually need to LEARN how to be still and relax so that our nervous system can heal from a lifetime of stress. Our mind, body and emotions are all ONE and therefore, we cannot simply look at one without them all. Growing is not just a mental process, it requires an embodied practice. Having this understanding means we can shift and improve from the root upwards and avoid the need for medication or other quick strategies which can often perpetuate anxiety and chronic stress in the long term.

Without reversing these patterns and allowing ourselves to return to a balanced state, we are at risk of living our life feeling like we are constantly treading water and trying to stay afloat, rather than experiencing true happiness in the present moment.

Chronic stress is often the building block for most other illnesses and disease in life and therefore, remaining in this place is not somewhere we wish to stay. Despite what we may have been let to believe, we do not have to put up with feeling constantly anxious or reside to a life of having to "deal with it". We also don't need to get rid of our anxiety because it is a helpful survival tool and a handy signal for our own healing.

Instead, we can choose to see our anxiety as a calling for growth and know that it is showing up for a reason and all we need to do is pay attention. What is it trying to let us know and where are our opportunities for growth? When we choose to look at life this way, we naturally begin to shift our experience and realise that anything we experience CAN change. We CAN change.

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Are you looking for Guidance?

If you are looking to heal your anxiety naturally or have a desire to upgrade your life, Holistic Counselling could be just the thing for you. You can read more about it below.

Molly is a Holistic Counsellor with qualifications in Holistic Counselling, Life Coaching & Meditation Therapy. However, most of what she brings to the table is her personal human experience and dedication to self healing and growth. She is the founder of Mind Habitat which offers Holistic Counselling to individuals who want to heal their anxiety naturally and develop personal power in their life. You can book a session with Molly here.